Saturday, October 10, 2009

Some of my favorite quotes

  • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere
  • I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What good would that do?
  • I distinctly remember forgetting that.
  • People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.
  • The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his
  • You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.
  • I took a philosophy test that asked us to explain Nothingness. I left it blank
  • Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is
  • If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
  • There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
  • A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles
  • After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor.
  • I sometimes smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
  • Where there is a will, there are five hundred relatives.
  • Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards
  • I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!